My beautiful boy. We thought we almost lost him last week. It was the worst week of our lives.
He wasn't lost in the woods or grocery store, we thought Leukemia offered him some candy or a cute puppy and then tried to snatch him into a beat-up van with tinted windows.
He had not been feeling well for 4 days so I took him to the doctor "just to be safe". The doc decided to check some blood work "just to be safe". When the doctor returned to the exam room with a "funny" look on his face and wanted to repeat the lab work "just to be safe", I got a bad feeling. After 3 lab repeats, we were admitted to the hospital "just to be safe". Luckily, we had the best Pediatrician in the whole world and we will forever be grateful to him for the excellent care he gave Wyatt.
His white blood cell count was outrageously elevated, so much so that they immediately suspected Leukemia. After many tests, bone marrow, spinal fluid, xrays, etc... and 7 days of waiting, we got the news today that it's probably not Leukemia. We are still waiting for a few results but for the most part, we are relieved.
I've recently been a proponent of "finding the good in everything" and this experience has really tested my outlook. I've passed the "test" and even the most simplest of acts, putting mayonnaise on my sandwich for example, causes extreme joy. Gazing at my son, knowing that he will grow up to be a beautiful person who contributes to society in a positive way, causes floodgates of emotion.
A sadness still persists for those families who did not get a "negative" test result and are looking at 3 years of chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants, and painful treatments and then not knowing if their beautiful boy will make it. My heart cries for them. Do what you can to help others who cannot help themselves, I believe that is our true purpose.
Signs: I'm not one to believe in signs and symbols, but this morning as we were getting ready to go to the doctor for some test results, our stomachs were in knots and our brows were wrinkled with stress. My daughter bounded in full of exuberance as usual with her hair flopping into her sparkly blue eyes. I asked her to get a clip for her hair and instead of her usual loud protests, she skipped away to find one.
She came back with this dainty rainbow clip that she dug out of the "reserved for gifts" bow and clip box.
She normally does not go into that box under strict orders from the Captain but when she galloped back to me with it clipped into her bangs and a demure smile on her face, little hands folded in front of her, and stated while blinking her huge long-lashed blue eyes, "How does this look Mama?" I just smiled and hugged her and told her she was beautiful.
The rainbow signifies HOPE, which we were desperately trying to grasp. Coincidentally, on the way to the doctor's office, we saw a huge faint rainbow in the storm-darkened sky. We don't see that many rainbows in our area, maybe one every few years, if that, but it was there, and I took it as a sign. A sign of HOPE and BEAUTY and LOVE.
Yours in HOPE and THANKFULNESS,
Amber
P.S. Have a BEAUTIFUL day and find some GOOD in it, I know that it is there.
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